Thursday, May 16, 2013

Turning 30...

Well, today is May 16, and that makes me 30 years-old. Gasp! Why is turning 30 such a cause of anxiety for so many people, especially women? As sad as it sounds, my twenties were nothing special. In my twenties, I just wished I was a teenager again. When I was a teenager, I wished I was a kid again. And now at thirty, I'm wishing I was still in my twenties. But why, if by my own admission, my twenties were nothing special?

Life is a race against the clock. There is only so much time for the things we love to do and people we love to spend time with. For unwed and childless women in their thirties, the clock seems to start ticking much faster. This is where I'm at. What I once thought I had plenty of time to think about and consider, now feels like time is up and it's time for decisions. The funny thing is that marriage and having kids never took priority in my life before, so why now? Yesterday I was 29 and wasn't in a hurry to start that chapter of my life (if I ever decide to start that chapter), and yet one day later, I feel like I have to hurry up and chase after these things. I know it's illogical and silly, and yet my mind won't stop badgering me with the ticking clock--the clock that's saying "Time is running out."

If I feel like this at 30, how will I feel at 40? Or 60? Or 80? Will I even make it that long?

The rules of life are there are no rules. Normality doesn't really exist. No one knows what tomorrow will bring. The best we can do is make the best of what we're given and try to do the things that make us happy. Writing makes me happy. For more than fifteen years, I've known that all I wanted out of life was to write and one day make a living at it. Well, I'm still working on the last part, but for the first time, it seems like a possible dream. I've accomplished more in the past year than I thought was possible. I've written and published three books, with a fourth on the way.

So why have I been dreading turning 30? 30 is starting to look pretty good!

So here's to turning 30! If you're turning 30 this year, think about what you've accomplished and forget about the things other people have that you might lack. In the wise words of Baz Luhrmann: "The race is long, and in the end, it's only with yourself."

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